Stress less

This has been an emotional week for me. It began when I started washing loads of my work clothes, getting ready to become a working Mom.

During the day, I wouldn't stress over going back to work, but at night, with Chris sleeping by my side and Bailey in her bassinet next to the bed; the worries would come assaulting me:

I'm going to be missing so much.

Who will love her as much as I do?

Will she cry all day?

What if she doesn't miss me?

How are we going to find child care?

No one knows her and what she likes like I do.

What if she gets hurt and I'm not there to make it better?

What if she isn't kept on her schedule?
Will Chris check on her when she's sleeping to make sure she's breathing, like I do?

What if she loves someone more than me?

Am I going to be able to keep up my milk supply via pumping at work?

How stressful is work going to be?

 

I have cried more in this week than I have in a long time. Chris has been great, letting me cry and tell him my fears. Reminding me that things are going to be alright and with our work schedules, I'm going to be getting a lot of time with her that moms who work a regular M-F 9-5 job won't get. Yes, I will be away from her for 24 hours at a time, but I can visit on my breaks and with our cell phones, I can watch videos and interact with her everyday.

 

Along with going back to work, I was told that I have to change shifts too. That was the thing that made me put my head down on the table and sob hysterically.

 

Then I decided to change my thinking.

 

Yes, there are things I'm going to miss out on, but my going back to work is going to give Chris and Bailey valuable time together {and me valuable time with others}. It will force me to give up my control and {hopefully} relax a bit. I will learn to let others teach Bailey and love her and she will be better for it.

 

I know that Sunday {my first day at work} is going to be very difficult. I'm expecting that the hardest part will be walking out the door in the morning, but I know that Chris is looking forward to spending time with our Bailey Boo.

 

I have been wearing this necklace all week [from Lisa Leonard}, as a reminder that cuddles are more important that stress! This week has been full of cuddles and yes, there will be stress as Sunday gets closer, but I am so thankful I have been able to be with Bailey for three months straight.

Praying for strength for myself, Chris and Bailey as our schedules and routines change.