Growing up, we went to church...then we stopped.
In high school, I went to church...then I stopped.
After we got married...we began going to church...then our schedules got in the way and we haven't been attending as much as I hoped.
I love attending church: the worship, the connections and friendship that is formed over a common belief, the peacefulness that comes from a sermon that fits into my life, the values that are taught (be good, respect elders, put others before yourself, etc.).
Throughout all of my time going to church, I wasn't much of a "pray-er". Sure, I did it in church, when I was around other friends who prayed, and when something bad happened. I can't remember feeling the connection that others talked about, the feeling that they were talking to a friend who was always listening.
I felt thankful that I could offer up my worries, stresses, concerns to "someone" but I never felt that connection and I didn't feel that I had the correct words to speak. I would shy away from praying out loud, just in case someone heard my words and thought they were too child-like or not holy enough. I dutifully bowed my head and followed along in the prayer during groups and prayed with my heart.
I would say a prayer to myself, I would finish my prayer and then remember this verse. I wondered if I should never conclude my prayer because then I would not have followed this verse. Oftentimes, once I had said "Amen!" I would think of another thing to bring up to Him and felt silly adding a "P.S" when talking to God.
I have so much to be grateful for: I am healthy, I have an AMAZING support system of family and friends, I have a great job, and really, I want for nothing.
Lately, I have been beginning and ending my days with prayer. It is such a sweet time of contemplation, thankfulness, and bestowing my worries on Him. While it doesn't always erase my stresses and worries, it does lighten my load and help me face the day and get ready to rest my head on my pillow.
Last night Chris and I babysat the daughter of a dear friend and as I was rocking the babe to sleep, I realized it was the perfect time to spend in prayer. It was a peaceful time to spend reflecting on our day and reminding myself to be thankful for all that I have.
Hopefully, if we are blessed (one day) with children of our own, I will include this as a time of quiet and prayer in our family.
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